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By Mom Unplugged, November 3, 2007 12:42 pm

OK, so it wasn’t the Candy Fairy exactly, it was Mom. I didn’t think that at ages 5 and 7 they would suddenly start to believe in a Candy Fairy, so I simply said:

“How would you like to trade in your Halloween candy for a toy?”

My daughter said: “Can I trade it all in for a fish?”

My son said: “Can I trade it all in for a transformer?”

I said: “Sure.”

So we did. It was that easy! Honestly, I was anticipating more resistance to the idea. I guess I was lucky.

The fish was OK with me as long as my daughter agreed to take care of it herself. The transformer was not my idea of the perfect toy, but ever since my son played with one at a friend’s house, he has desperately wanted one. I scoured Amazon for the least violent transformer that I could find and finally settled on a Star Wars space ship that he seems to love.

They actually didn’t get much candy this year, so I may be the loser in this particular deal. At least they traded willing though. And they also agreed to the idea of a Candy Bank where all party candy will be put to be traded in for something when enough has been accumulated. Hooray!

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By Mom Unplugged, October 1, 2007 8:10 pm

Fall is here which means that Halloween is coming. My heart sinks when I think of all the candy my kids will receive, and of course want to eat.

Until now, I have always taken the wimpy way out. My Method One is to allow them to eat one or two pieces a day. Eventually they lose interest in it, at which point I whisk it away and hide it at the back of a high kitchen cupboard. If no one mentions the candy for a few weeks, then into the trash it goes.

My Method Two is to throw away one or two pieces of candy a day so as to make it disappear more rapidly. The most effective approach used to be a combination of Methods One and Two.

But as the kids get older, they seem to remember the existence of the candy for a longer period of time each year, which makes Method One increasingly more difficult to carry out successfully. They also now have a complete mental inventory of every piece of candy in their bag, so Method Two no longer works at all. This year it is clearly time for me to reconsider the Great Candy Dilemma.

MC Milker, the Not Quite Crunchy Parent, wrote a great post the other day about The Candy Fairy. The solution she proposes and has actually used successfully is, in my mind, PURE GENIUS. If there can be a Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus, why couldn’t there be a Candy Fairy? Children leave their Halloween candy on the doorstep at night and in the morning the candy is gone, but a small gift is there in its place. Brilliant! Why didn’t I think of that when my children were younger?

The Candy Fairy can come at Easter too. And why not after birthday parties where candy has been a bit too generously doled out?

According to MC Milker, it is advisable to start talking up The Candy Fairy well in advance of the holiday. For example, starting now for a Halloween Candy Fairy visit insures that the brain washing is fully in place by October 31st. Plus, there are complicated logistics and negotiations that must be handled. When does The Candy Fairy come exactly? How much candy does she expect to receive? I am obviously a novice when it comes to all this. For more expert advice, you should really read MC’s post.

The only problem I can foresee in my own situation is how to explain the sudden arrival on the scene of The Candy Fairy to my 5 and 7 year-old who are regular customers of Santa and The Tooth Fairy, but who have never ever heard of The Candy Fairy. I just don’t think they would buy into the fantasy.

After mulling it all over, I have come up with my own “Mom” variation of The Candy Fairy:

This Halloween I will offer a choice. They can keep their candy, or they can cash it in for a surprise from me. I expect that they will opt for the latter. To make it fun we’ll leave the candy outside the front door which is where they will find their surprise the next morning. I think that this idea has great potential. I’ll report back after Halloween.

Now that I think of it, if this works, perhaps we could start a kind of “candy savings account” where all birthday party candy, Valentine’s candy etc. can be accumulated until there is enough for The Candy Fairy to take in exchange for a gift.

Wouldn’t this encourage saving and spending in addition to making the dentist happy?

Thank you for sharing this exciting idea MC! You may well have changed my life…perhaps I am being a tad dramatic…but I think you have resolved my Great Candy Dilemma for another few years at least!

Thanks to morguefile.com and photographer dieraecherin for the candy photo.

Comments (11)

By Mom Unplugged, September 29, 2007 8:26 pm

According to the study I wrote about in my September 26th post: How Much TV Do American Babies Really Watch, one of the main reasons that kids under age two watch TV is for “babysitting” purposes. People often ask me how I manage to get any cooking, laundry or other household chores done with three kids and no TV or video games.

The answer? I simply neglect my children. That is my secret! I more or less leave them to their own devices. I don’t believe that my job includes being their entertainment committee.

They have toys, games, and books, but mostly they just run around in or out of the house and play imaginary games. I am fortunate that I have two children relatively close in age to entertain each other. This does make occupying them easier. The downside is that, with more than one child, there can occasionally (OK, on some days - often) be discord. Then I am unfortunately interrupted in my work to become a referee (not my job either).

But I also have a 20 month-old and she is more demanding of my time and attention. Sometimes she runs around with the older two, but when they are at school, or engaged in a non baby-friendly game for example, she follows me around wanting attention.

Obviously I can’t let her wander too far off. Her silence is always a bad sign. Some of my best “Mom of the Year” moments have been when I have diverted my attention from her for just a minute or two (more on those particular True Confessions on a day when I feel more like making True Confessions).

Age 1 - 2 years is the most challenging one for entertainment I think. You can’t tell them to just “go play” or send them off to clean their rooms. They are developed enough to want to do something other than sit on a blanket and stare at their hands for example, but they are not yet very interested in toys, at least not for long. The attention span is so short. Plus, they can MOVE and that can mean definite trouble!

Here are some things I do to divert the baby’s attention from me in order to do all the necessary tasks (obviously I am right there next to her for these activities to avoid any other “Mom of the Year” moments):

1) Stand her at the little kitchen island sink with a trickle of water and a few plastic cups (not good if I need her clothes to stay dry however).

2) Give her a tray with measuring cups, plastic bowls, measuring spoons and some dried beans. Of course, watch very closely that none go in the mouth. If your child still puts lots of things in his mouth, maybe try this with larger containers and scoops and use those big Legos that are too big to be swallowed.

3) Let her play in the pots and pans cupboard.

4) Bring out our giant box of dull plastic cookie cutters (which have always been used for play more than for cookies).

5) Give her a box filled with an odd collection of objects that are too large to choke on. She likes to take them out and put them in again. If the box has a top, I make sure that it is easy enough for her to take off and put back on by herself. I have learned the hard way that I will be called upon every fifteen seconds or so to “help” if the lid is not easy enough, and frustration for both of us will quickly ensue.

6) A box of canning rings is entertaining. They can make noise, become bracelets, or simply be placed in and out of the box again and again.

Sometimes these tactics only buy me a few moments of peace, but a minute or two combined with fast working, usually lets me muddle by. If I have a really time-consuming project, then I try to plan it around her nap, or after bed.

What do/did you do to keep your 1 to 2 year-old occupied* when necessary?

*occupied - with your observation, but not your direct participation!

Comments (9)

By Mom Unplugged, September 10, 2007 10:28 am

For me, it is one of those dreaded times of year again: birthday party time. A Good Mom probably cherishes these milestone moments and decorates for hours, bakes a cake from scratch, plans fun games and then sits back and enjoys watching her wee one having the time of his or her little life with perfectly well-behaved and polite little friends at The Birthday Party.

I, however, have come to rather dread The Birthday Party. For me it symbolizes a time of excess, greed and waste. Just call me Birthday Scrooge. I have grown tired of watching my kids rip wrapping paper off yet another toy we don’t need, only to toss it aside to rip the paper off the next one, as all the other kids “ooh” and “aah” with envy.This year I decided to suggest something different to my daughter. Having recently spent a lot of time at the local Humane Society shelter adopting a dog and three cats to add to our already large menagerie, I suggested that this year we have a Humane Society birthday where we would ask guests to bring an item for the shelter animals instead of the usual gift. My daughter loves animals and understands that many animals are homeless, but I wasn’t sure that a 7 year-old could be altruistic enough to forgo the excitement of birthday presents.

I picked my moment carefully (after we had finished sorting out a bunch of old, unplayed-with toys to donate) and made the suggestion:

“Every year at your birthday party you always get a lot of toys like these that you never play with and that just clutter up the house. How about this year we ask everyone to bring pet food, or something for all those homeless animals at the shelter instead?”

“Oh yes, yes, yes!!!” she said. Even her little brother asked if he could do that for his birthday too (we’ll see if he still wants to when his time comes next June).

We asked our cat sitter, who works at the Humane Society, to tell us what they really needed most right now. We put this list on an insert inside the party invitations. My daughter was very excited to help make the insert requesting donations instead of gifts. We even added some photos of our recent shelter adoptees.

We had the party on Saturday, and as you can see from the photo, the eight guests were extremely generous in their donations of food and toys for the animals! The parents all commented on what a great idea our party was. I am sure they were happier spending their money on food for the homeless animals than on a cheap toy for the child who has too much.

Today after school is the really exciting moment. I will pick my children up from school and we will take everything down to the shelter to give to them. My daughter can’t wait!

I must say that as I write this, I feel every bit the Proud Mama. My daughter, at only age 7, was able to derive pleasure from giving rather than receiving. For once, this was a truly enjoyable birthday party for us all!

Comments (5)

By Mom Unplugged, August 22, 2007 6:30 pm

I remember a fun game we used to play when I was in elementary school. Our teacher would have someone bring in an object from home that they would show to the class. The other kids would have to guess what that object was for. It was fun trying to find something really obscure and hearing the creative guesses that my classmates came up with. It was so fun, that I remember it to this day (and believe me, it was a long time ago).

Kids know how to be creative. Often as adults we forget that skill. If it doesn’t have instructions, then we don’t know what to make of it. Our grownup brains love to have rules and guidelines and instructions to help us use a tool, or cook a meal, or play with a toy or game. Most of us expect that things should be done “properly.”

It is so entertaining to give a child a toy (or a “mysterious” object for that matter) without any explanation of “The Rules,” and to watch what happens. My kids really love playing with my button tin for example.

The idea for this post came from a post by Celtic Mommy that I really enjoyed. She wrote it back in June but it has remained in my mind as an interesting topic. Her post is called Playing Games and is about how her 3 year-old is into playing Blokus and Connect Four.

These games are “for” older children than Emerson, yet he enjoys them immensely - in his own, creative way. No grownup has told him: “No, you have to play it this way,” so he has made these games uniquely his own and learns a lot in the process.

Emerson plays Blokus like Tetris, he stacks the differently sized and shaped pieces, trying not to leave any gaps. He plays Connect Four by making different patterns with the black and red disks. I really think that this kind of creative pattern play has to lead to good things for the brain.

So the next time your kids are bored, don’t get out a video, get out a game. Even if it is “too old” for them. Let me know what happens!

(Of course in this day and age, I unfortunately feel compelled to add this: obviously if a game is “too old” due to small parts, be careful that none of them go in the mouth or other orifices, etc., etc., etc. I can see it now - “But ‘Mom Unplugged’ said it was OK to put Blokus in the crib with my five month-old!” NO! NO! NO! That is NOT what I said!!!!!).

Thanks to Wikimedia Commons and photographer Roy Levien Aldaron for this photo. View license information here.