Thirteen Things I Never Dreamed I Would Ever Do
1. Discern a difference in performance between a “brand-name” disposable diaper, and a cheap “generic” diaper.
2. Bake my own bread without a machine…and enjoy it.
3. Pilot an airplane while nursing a baby.
4. Single-handedly care for three kids, six cats, one dog, and two birds.5. Maneuver an embarrassingly large SUV, toss a toy to the baby, put the favorite song on the CD player, distribute snacks, referee an argument over who called who “poopyhead,” and obey traffic rules – all at once.
6. Drink a glass of champagne that was older than I am.
7. Run around my backyard 10 minutes before my wedding scooping dog poop.
8. Become part of the “soccer-mom” demographic.
9. Get excited upon finding mysterious magenta-colored lint in the filter of my drier, instead of the usual grey variety. (Can you say “GET-A-LIFE?”).
10. Drive around town in a vehicle that should be condemned by the department of health.
11. Finish paying off my student loans.
12. Produce a perfect little miniature human being (actually three of them) from my own body.
13. Write a blog.