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By Mom Unplugged, March 20, 2007 12:15 pm

I love gardening. At the first hint of warm weather I begin to have detailed, yet wildly unrealistic visions of the beautiful, picture-perfect garden that I will certainly create this year. This spring I will plant some roses, and I have been researching different types of roses for the past two years (literally). I am not an impulse shopper in any regard, and certainly not where something seemingly as permanent as a garden is concerned.Last year I gave the kids a little patch of dirt to plant. I thought colorful annuals would satisfy short attention spans better than seeds or perennials. We went to the nursery and they got to pick six plants each, any annual they wanted. My daughter picked dainty alyssum as well as a variety of other flowers in pretty pink and purple tones. She is like me, not an impulse shopper. Much to my annoyance it took her close to an hour to make up her mind, even while being hurried along by me. My son (a typical “buy-the-first-thing-you-see-then-leave-as-quickly-as-possible” male) headed straight for the brightest flowers he saw: marigolds in varying shades of bright yellow and orange and rust. He chose five marigolds and a mint plant, because he liked the smell.

The deal was that they had to plant them themselves, and then water them everyday on their own without reminding. I had my doubts about the odds of their survival and felt grateful that my role in this life was to be my son’s Mom and not one of his marigolds.

Much to my surprise, the gardening experiment was a resounding success. They watered faithfully and I even taught them how to weed and deadhead by helping me. They kept their garden looking tidier than mine.

Now, every time we drive by the nursery they want to go and look at flowers. I have to explain that it is too soon, but they still don’t fully understand time, even my 6 year-old.

Meanwhile, I peruse garden magazines featuring fabulous, yet entirely impractical gardens for my climate, ability, and available time. I read the David Austin rose catalogue regularly, because this year, I really will take the plunge and order the roses of my dreams. I desperately want a Madame Alfred Carriere.

My kids have already, on their own initiative, planted pots with ancient seeds they found in the garage, and my son just brought home a sprouting Daffodil bulb that they forced at school.

Yeah! Spring is on the way!

(For my tips for gardening with kids, please also see my post: The Children’s Garden .)

Thanks to morgefile.com and photographer julesinky.

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By Mom Unplugged, March 19, 2007 10:19 am

My kids are only 6, 4, and 14 months, but already with my 6 year-old I can see how it is easy to overschedule. I decided, before it was ever an issue, that I would allow one musical instrument (mandatory) and one activity per child. Well, my oldest did ballet last year and wanted to do it again, plus tap, this year. I agreed to the tap since the tap class met right after ballet and it would still only mean one trip to the dance studio per week.

Then, she wanted to try soccer because her friends liked it. My whole life I have been a total anti-jock (like matter and anti-matter!), you know the type - picked last for gym. Maybe it was even YOU the nasty jocky-type who said: “Well, I guess we’ll take HER, (big sigh plus flip of the oh so perfect jocky hair)…that’s OK, I forgive you… but… I digress. Anyhow, being far from a jock myself, I am very sensitive to the fact that I should afford my children every opportunity to do sports if they want to. After all, they say it IS good for you, right? So I said yes to the soccer (Saturday).

Then my 4 year-old son wanted to try soccer too…and dance! So just to be fair, I enrolled him in soccer and ballet too. Unfortunately his ballet is Wednesday, my daughter’s is Tuesday. Plus, their school offers an after-school art class one day a week (Thursday) that they absolutely love! We are now in three activities each, not including the musical instrument that they will do in the future, not including girl scouts that my daughter wants to do too, not including gymnastics, not including horseback riding, not including blah blah blah. You get the picture.

I rationalize this year’s situation by saying to myself that soccer season was only through October so it was a short commitment, therefore they are really only in two activities each (art and dance). I have not told them about the existence of T-ball or Little League. Until they hear about it from their friends and express an interest I am not going there!

They are 4 and 6! I want them to act like 4 and 6 year-olds. I want them to play, imagine, run around outside, lie on their backs and watch the clouds, build sofa cushion forts … not race from dance, to girl scouts, to sport, to art, to music, to whatever!

So next year, I am going to try and enforce my rule. If my daughter wants girl scouts, then dance or art have to go. We live in a small town with very few choices. What do people do in larger places where they have a whole smorgasbord of fun, educational activities to choose from?

I can see that it can become more and more difficult to avoid the overscheduling issue as children get older. However, I refuse to let us get sucked into that trap. I don’t want my kids to need their own personal secretary before they are even out of elementary school. I don’t want to give up family dinners because so-and-so has practice. I don’t want to spend my afternoons and evenings driving all over town.

And what will happen when the baby gets older and wants to do dance and soccer and art and music and Japanese lessons and baby spelunking and luge team and blah blah blah? That will be three kids who all have different schedules and needs. NOT AN OPTION!

I hope I have the strength to say NO despite the fact that their friends will have increasingly more complex schedules. Am I denying my children educational opportunities with this attitude? I really don’t think so. I think and hope that my children are the ones who will benefit from having a chance to check out ants and dig in the dirt while their friends are all off doing karate and whatever.

What do you remember most fondly from your childhood? The ballet lessons or building snow forts with your little brother and the neighborhood kids?

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By Mom Unplugged, March 13, 2007 7:44 am

I have a love-hate relationship with stuff. I am, by nature, a neotoma albigula, more commonly known as a “pack rat” (see photo). Yet I yearn to simplify my life by shedding all the excess.

Whenever I get stressed about mess and excess, I go on a cleaning frenzy. I tidy, I throw out, I donate. I always feel so good afterwards. Cleansing the closets equates to cleansing the soul!

However, there are always some strange things that I have trouble parting with: stuffed animals from my childhood (they are my friends, and besides, their feelings would be hurt), the swizzle stick I saved from that family vacation to Maine when I was six (the prettiest shade of red I have ever seen), a box filled with every work schedule I ever had as a flight attendant (cool places!), another box with every letter my Mom or Dad ever wrote me (sentimental attachment), old board games I plan to sell on Ebay (when I have time-ha!), etc. How can I teach frugality and simplicity to my kids when my life is filled with odd and unnecessary items?

I have a particular weakness for cardboard boxes. I like to save them. You never know when you might need one. Plus the kids play with them, and one day I will use every single one of them when I sell all my extra stuff on Ebay and make a fortune.

My husband hates my stuff, especially the boxes. He says we need to just rent a dumpster. I told him, we’ll rent a dumpster when he agrees to put at least half his precious garage junk treasures into it.

I continue to fantasize that my house will one day be transformed into a zen-like sanctuary of simplicity and spiritual living. It will look like one of those minimalist spaces you see sometimes in House Beautiful or even Architectural Digest. My furniture will all be white. My few, artfully arranged books will have matching spines in a soothing palette of neutral colors. I will have miniature zen rock gardens on my coffee table instead of the zen scattering of Cheerios which sits there now.

One day…

Oh…are you going to throw out that box? Can I have it?

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By Mom Unplugged, March 7, 2007 11:07 am

Before my first child was born in 2000, my thoughts had already turned to how to raise her. I do believe that much of who we are comes “pre-programmed.” However, as all parents know, it is nonetheless thoroughly daunting to imagine providing a life for another human being. One thing I knew was that I did not want her to become an MTV and video-game obsessed teen, lazy and unable to think and act creatively.

Being an “older Mom” (I hate that term!), I found myself having those fuddy-duddy, “back in my day” type of thoughts. It was in my post-partum turmoil of hormones and angst that I stumbled upon Katrina Kenison’s soothing book Mitten Strings for God: Reflections for Mothers in a Hurry . My unsettled state was fertile ground for the author’s message that simplifying our children’s lives is satisfying and possible. The book left me full of warm fuzzy feelings and encouragement that one can create a simpler family environment.

I was filled anew with determination to raise my daughter more simply: no TV, simpler toys, fewer organized activities. I wanted her to have time to just be a child.

If anyone out there is contemplating these issues for themselves and wants a warm, little boost of encouragement, try this inspirational book. When I feel discouragement setting in, I reach for the “Mitten Strings” and read a chapter or two. That’s usually all it takes to set me right.

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By Mom Unplugged, March 5, 2007 9:17 am

Today I saw the first spring robin on my way to school with the kids! That sight always fills me with some hope for a warmer future.

As of yesterday, it is a little easier to believe that spring is truly on the way. Yesterday was so warm that the kids had a friend over and played outside most of the afternoon. After being shut indoors for so long, it was refreshing to see them run around, have a “picnic,” and play on the swing set. They also enjoyed all the mud that the snow has left behind. I guess I’ll be doing some laundry today!

It occurs to me as I write this, that this is the type of information that I would have written in a letter in the days when people actually wrote letters. Since the theme of this blog is essentially “high-tech” vs. “low-tech,” it makes me realize that a blog actually seems to be a “high-tech” way of delivering “low-tech” (in most cases) information.

Perhaps we all miss the days of seeing a familiar envelope in our mailbox and knowing that it brought very ordinary news from dear friends or family. There was comfort in that connection, a sense of belonging. Do I experience that same thrill of pleasure and surprise when I open an email from a friend? No. Would I email my friends to tell them about the robin I saw this morning? No. Would I have described that experience in a letter? Yes.

Perhaps our desire to connect with others in this fashion is a yearning for a return to simpler times.