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By Mom Unplugged, May 16, 2007 10:01 pm

How could I nearly have missed this important holiday! I just discovered that today, May 16th, is International Sea Monkey Day! (I kid you not.) Children the world over will dress their Sea Monkeys up in their Sunday-best, sing Sea Monkey songs, eat Sea Monkey-shaped cakes. What would a Sea-Monkey shaped cake look like any way?

Like many children of my era, I fell victim to the advertisements in the comic pages of the Sunday paper and desperately wanted some Sea Monkeys (Artemia Salina, brine shrimp). My mother knew they were not what they appeared to be in the ads featuring cute little smiling humanoids and, certainly fearing having to deal with my disappointment, would not let me have any. [Note: Ad picture was found on Sea Monkey Geek at his post Were you Disappointed?]

I am glad to see that Sea Monkeys still exist, and actually seem to be quite a popular subject on the internet:

• Click here for a Sea Monkey musical video entitled “Ocean Of Fire.”
• To order (or for more info about these “dream pets”) visit the Official Sea-Monkey Website.
• Visit Sea Monkey Mania or Sea Monkey Geek.
• If you are REALLY into your Sea Monkeys, then visit the Sea Monkey Worship Page.
• Search “sea monkeys” on Amazon and you will find three whole pages of Sea Monkeys items! How about Sea Monkeys on Mars, or even a Sea Monkey action figure to celebrate this special day?

Happy International Sea Monkey Day!!

PS: Sea Monkeys seem to be quite a cultural phenomenon for a certain generation. If you are too old or too young, you may not have even heard of them. I was just on the cusp of the end of Sea Monkey popularity. If you have Sea Monkey memories to share, please leave a comment!

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By Mom Unplugged, May 9, 2007 9:40 pm

My best friend was just “accepted” by the local coop (the ONLY coop in our tiny, food-challenged community). She is on the A-List. I am on the W-List (as in the Wait-For-At-Least-Another-Year-Or-Two-Or-Maybe-When-Hell-Freezes-Over-List).

She will have fresh, locally grown vegetables, fruits, and herbs, even goat cheeses and salsas DELIVERED TO HER DOOR all summer long.

Meanwhile, I will be found scavenging the produce section at Safeway, digging through the bins in search of a flaccid celery, or wrestling fellow desperate Mom-shoppers for the only remaining semi-spongy zucchini or half-rotten avocado.

If I am not there, perhaps I am in a flirty sort of mood, and you might find me in the fruit aisle putting on my lipstick using a shinier-than-nature-ever-intended apple as a mirror. Ha!! I bet you can’t do that trick with your fancy COOP apples!

My “friend” called to inform me that tomorrow she will be receiving some freshly-picked organic Japanese Mustard Greens, lovingly hand-delivered by the farmer.

Well la-di-da! Who wants nasty old Japanese Mustard Greens anyway!! Give me pesticide and botulism-laden Iceberg Lettuce, or give me death. That is my motto!

(By the way…if you have any of those mustard greens left over that you are just going to compost anyway…could I have them…please???? …PRETTY PLEASE ?)Thanks to morguefile.com and photographer Scott Liddell (

www.scott.liddell.com) for this A-list quality photo!

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By Mom Unplugged, May 6, 2007 7:55 am

My sister has a cockatiel who rings like a telephone and then, putting his foot up to his ear (I am not making this up), says “Hello?”

Last night I was cooking dinner when I overheard my 6 year-old daughter, who was on the sofa with a book, saying “Now [4 year-old brother], I really need some alone time. You never let me have time for myself!” (I am not making this up either).

Gee, I wonder where she heard that? Do I say that kind of thing a lot? Probably. I like “alone time” and I don’t get much of it anymore. Does my sister talk on the phone a lot? Well, certainly enough for her cockatiel to have noticed!

The point is that children, like parrots, imitate what they hear. That is a scary realization. If I am being “less than mature” and pouty because I want “my alone time,” how can I be surprised when my children are “less than mature” and pouty because they want another story and it is 8PM on a school night.

My baby girl says “yeah” instead of yes. I guess I say “yeah” a lot instead of yes too. Among the first words of my two oldest was “actually,” used grammatically correctly. Actually, never until then, did I actually realize that I say “actually” a lot.

It is hard being a parent and having to set a perfect example 24 hours a day. Sometimes, I just want to pick my nose. There. I said it. Online, for the world to read. It is up to you to decide if I want to “literally” pick my nose (don’t worry, I won’t post photos), or figuratively pick my nose.

So…parents beware. Pick your nose in private only. And make sure that your most daring cuss word is “actually,” otherwise your child’s preschool teacher will have a good laugh!

Parrot photo thanks to morguefile.com and photographer lightfoot. Nose-picker photo thanks to morguefile.com and photographer David Kitchenham (www.photomime.co.uk).

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By Mom Unplugged, April 4, 2007 10:00 pm

Thirteen Ways You Know You Have No Life

1….You get really excited when you find magenta drier fluff in your drier’s filter instead of the usual grey variety.

2….You think it is fun watching the clothes get washed through the window of your front loading washer.

3….You have 8 cats, and enjoy writing about them.

4…You find it really thrilling to organize your kitchen junk drawer.

5…You take before and after photos of your kitchen junk drawer and publish them online (hmmm…maybe a post for me next week??)

6….You know which of your 8 cats produces which particular poop in your litter boxes (and you publish that online???).

7….You take pictures of your 4 year-old putting cheese goldfish crackers between his toes (the fact that your 4 year-old spends time doing this means that he has no life either…Aw! How cute! He takes after Mommy!!!).

8….You amuse yourself by making up “Separated At Birth” funnies with your animals (click here).

9….You have a very involved dream about scooping cat poop out of your litter boxes (the more you scoop, the more there is to scoop…Aaaghh!!!!)

10….The most exciting event of your week is finding a new color of mold on an old zucchini in your produce drawer (and you seriously consider publishing a photo online).

11…You write a Thursday Thirteen entitled “13 Ways You Know You Have No Life.”

12…You spend WAY too much time thinking about your blog.

13…In fact…you actually have a blog!

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By Mom Unplugged, March 10, 2007 8:59 am

I recently had a birthday. Yes, another one, but as my mother used to say: “At least it’s better than the alternative!” For my birthday my two oldest made me cards. Well, they didn’t exactly “make” the cards themselves, they used some blank cards someone had given them and wrote sweet messages inside. I tried not to take it personally that the pictures on the front of the cards were of dinosaurs!

The dinosaur thing got me thinking. I know my kids can’t understand time yet. I don’t think they believe me when I tell them that even though Mommy is old, she is not old enough to have gone bronco-riding on the back of a T-Rex.

When I tell them that there were no computers or cell phones when I was a child, they look at me like I have twelve heads. We didn’t even have cordless phones! “How did you talk?” “Well, we talked fine, but we just had to stand there tied to the phone by a long curly cord.” STAND THERE? I can see the wheels turning in their brains. You mean you had to just talk? You didn’t do the dishes, make beds, and change a diaper all while talking on the phone? Wow! What an odd concept!

Technology gives us the gift (?) of multitasking. We no longer do just one thing at a time. The Buddhists believe that you must “live in the moment,” savor every experience, enjoy the feeling of the water on your hands as you do the dishes, the texture of the sheets as you tuck them in, the smell of your baby as you change a diaper (well, maybe not then, not even for Buddhists). I believe that there is a lot to the theory that real happiness is indeed, living in the moment. Can we truly appreciate life as we race headlong through it, crazily attempting to accomplish five things at once?

How on earth did I get from dinosaurs to the meaning of life? This post has certainly taken on a direction all its own! There is another dinosaur-inspired post brewing in my head. More on that later. But for now, have a peaceful Saturday with your family and remember to put down that phone and enjoy life!

Thanks to morguefile.com and photographer Melodi2 for this unusual photo!